Sad Mom

It's been a week since I dropped off Josh at Monarch School and I have been in a deep funk ever since. I am not sure why. I didn't feel this way when he was at wilderness. But I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach and feel that at any moment I am going to burst into tears. I like everything about the school (except how far away it is). The staff and kids were very welcoming when we arrived there. Everything I hear and read from the leadership as well as other parents and alumni parents about the school's philosophy and approach makes total sense to me. But I still feel incredibly sad all the time. I know the next year or so is going to be a long, bumpy road and I am not sure I am ready for it. I see all the kids from his high school doing all the normal things that high school kids do and I wonder why that can't be Josh. Bill says I am grieving, and I suppose he is right. I hope that once we start hearing from Josh and his peer group leader on a regular basis I will feel more comfortable with the process. But right now I just hurt.