Dreaming of Josh

Even though Josh has been away at school for a month now, I still think about him constantly throughout the day. In the middle of whatever I am doing I will stop and wonder what he is doing at that moment. Is he is in class? Having lunch? Or just hanging out with the other kids? I also dream about him. Last night I had one that was a new twist on the old final exam dream (the one where you realize you have an exam for a course that you've never attended and haven't read the book...and furthermore you can't seem to find out where the exam is being held). In the new version of the dream I have gone to Monarch School for parents' weekend. There seems to be construction going on all around the campus so it's hard to make your way from one building to another. Kids and parents are going from one activity to the next but I can't seem to find Josh anywhere. Finally, at the very end of the weekend I do find him, just in time to give him a big hug before I have to leave. I wonder what it means...am I afraid I won't be able to connect with him when I see him again? Will he have changed so much I won't really know him anymore? I wonder if other parents in my situation have similar dreams.

Three Fs in School, Thanks to WoW

It's been a long and difficult spring. After Josh's weeklong hospitalization, plus week of outpatient treatment, he comes back to school and gets support from a program they have there for kids transitioning back from an illness or other extended absence. Mainly he sleeps through class and study hall, either because he is depressed or because he has snuck downstairs to play World of Warcraft in the middle of the night (or both). Sometimes I catch him playing in the wee hours and we get into a yelling match, so neither of us is able to fall asleep.

Bill and I get notes and calls from Josh's adviser letting us know that Josh is not turning in important assignments and risks failing if he does not get it together. He has already dropped French in order to catch up on his other core subjects and they have demoted him from level 4 English/world history to level 3. I beg, plead, cajole and threaten him to try and get him to apply himself to his studies. He says, "Don' t worry, Mom. I won't fail."

Josh is easily able to hack around the software we have put on on the computer to restrict the time he plays. We then put some restrictions on at the game level. But somehow Josh is able to open other accounts with someone else's credit card. The only reason we haven't take the computer away entirely is because he does need it for school. We try and limit his use to schoolwork but somehow he finds a way to play WoW. But finally when all else fails, Bill packs up the computer and related equipment and locks them in the trunk of his car. Josh is now if full "I hate you" mode and threatens to call DCFS to report us as unfit parents. He says he wants to go live in a foster home. I say, "Go ahead". What a wake-up call that would be!

As the school year comes to a close we learn that Josh has, in fact, failed three of his second semester classes. We cannot fathom how our extremely bright son has managed to do this. His teachers have given him second and third chances to turn in his work, but he doesn't, and they have no choice but to give him an F. Bill and I are at the end of our rope. We do not know where to turn.

My teenage son is a World of Warcraft addict

I decided to start a blog because my son is addicted to World of Warcraft and we are struggling to understand it and help him overcome it. I am hoping this blog will do a couple of things: first, provide me with a therapeutic outlet; and second connect with other parents who are struggling with their kids' WoW addiction. Maybe we can help and support each other.

Josh (not his real name) has played for a couple of years now. It started out innocently enough. He played a couple hours a day when he didn't have anything else to do. Now it's all he wants to do. I am no authority on addictions, but he seems to exhibit all the behaviors of an addict: he gets crabby and argumentative when he can't play; when he's really nice to us, we know it's because he's found a way around our restrictions and has figured out how to get his next fix. He's become devious and deceitful in his attempts to get more playing time. His grades are getting worse and he doesn't seem to really care. He's become emotionally overwrought since we took the game away from him and has said life isn't worth living. As a result he is currently hospitalized in an adolescent psych ward.

I plan to chronicle how we ended up in this situation and how we (hopefully) get out of it with a healthy and well-adjusted son.