Why Some Kids Get Addicted to WoW

When Josh was at Wilderness the therapist did an exercise with the boys to help them better understand the underlying reasons for their various addictions. He explained that there are a few basic emotional needs that all people have. Different psychologists have somewhat different names for these needs, but they are: need for control/autonomy, need for security/safety, need for community/acceptance/sense of belonging, need for competence/achievement and need for affection/warmth/love.

He explained that if people cannot meet one or more of these needs in the usual way, they will often turn to some form of addiction that seems to fill or dull this need. Then he went around the group and asked each boy which need he felt his particular addiction was filling. A couple of the boys said that they had originally started doing drugs as a way to gain acceptance into a "cool" group of kids that did not accept their "straight" selves. Others said their addiction fed their need for control, autonomy or freedom. When it was Josh's turn he thought for a minute and said, "All of them. World of Warcraft meets all of my needs."

When the therapist told me this story, I had a real epiphany. Suddenly I could understand why this game had such a powerful hold over my son. In the virtual world he could be the person he wanted to be but couldn't be in the real world. He was a member of a guild that accepted him, but at the same time his anonymity provided a sense of safety and security. He could create and control his characters and feel a sense of achievement as he completed quests and leveled up. He was admired for his skill and relied upon to help his guild-mates. It became painfully clear that this was not going to be an easy addiction to break.

My teenage son is a World of Warcraft addict

I decided to start a blog because my son is addicted to World of Warcraft and we are struggling to understand it and help him overcome it. I am hoping this blog will do a couple of things: first, provide me with a therapeutic outlet; and second connect with other parents who are struggling with their kids' WoW addiction. Maybe we can help and support each other.

Josh (not his real name) has played for a couple of years now. It started out innocently enough. He played a couple hours a day when he didn't have anything else to do. Now it's all he wants to do. I am no authority on addictions, but he seems to exhibit all the behaviors of an addict: he gets crabby and argumentative when he can't play; when he's really nice to us, we know it's because he's found a way around our restrictions and has figured out how to get his next fix. He's become devious and deceitful in his attempts to get more playing time. His grades are getting worse and he doesn't seem to really care. He's become emotionally overwrought since we took the game away from him and has said life isn't worth living. As a result he is currently hospitalized in an adolescent psych ward.

I plan to chronicle how we ended up in this situation and how we (hopefully) get out of it with a healthy and well-adjusted son.