Where we went wrong

For the last two summers we have sent Josh to a summer camp where there were no electronic diversions. Heck, there wasn't even any electricity, except in the woodworking shop and the office. This was our attempt to get him to engage in healthier activities than just sitting in the basement in front of the computer. For seven weeks he did all the typical camp things: swimming, hiking, canoeing, etc. But as soon as he got home in August he made a beeline to the computer to resume playing his beloved WoW.

At this point we were not thinking that this was an addiction. We just felt that he spent too much time at it and didn't do enough other things. He was starting high school, which we had heard would be a lot tougher and more demanding than junior high, so we told him that we would restrict him to playing only on the weekends, and then only for two hours a day. Josh was not happy about this but we told him we would revisit it after a couple months, based on his grades and other activities.

About three weeks into the school year, Josh began negotiating for more WoW time. He worked on me and got me to help him convince his dad that he should get more time on the computer conditional on getting his homework and chores done first, participating in youth group at church and doing a couple of activities and/or sports at school. His dad was reluctant but finally gave in.

In the next few weeks, Josh did do his homework and chores for the most part. He went to a couple of youth group events and signed up for fencing. He did just the minimum to keep us off his back. He was getting good grades, but more because he is very bright than because he was really working at it. Over time he started missing fencing and youth group and had not signed up for any other activities at school. His social life consisted of hanging out with friends who were also WoW gamers. He did his chores only when reminded.

Bill and I became increasingly frustrated that Josh had not lived up to his end of the bargain. He was playing more and more and doing less and less outside of going to school and playing World of Warcraft. We decided that we would need to place additional restrictions on Josh's WoW time.