We just returned from visiting Josh at Monarch School. He has been there four months now and we can see that he has made so much progress. He seems more grounded, more confident, more comfortable in his own skin and I am so happy. Of course, there's lots more work to be done, both by him and by us, but it's a relief to see what has been accomplished so far. I know it's been hard for him, which makes me all the prouder.
This time the parents did an experiential exercise together ith our children. It was called "Sculpture" and we had to make a living sculpture of how we saw our family dynamic before Wilderness/Monarch and then talk about it. Seems kind of weird in the abstract but it was very revealing. I think we each learned something about how our family members perceive us and our roles in the drama.
This time Josh also got to have some time off campus. We didn't do anything major - we just hung out, talked, played board games and went out for dinner. Josh had an assignment to tell us his "life story"...obviously most of it was not new to us, but we gained a lot of insight from hearing the things he chose to focus on and talk about.
From our daughter's perspective the best thing about the visit (besides seeing her brother) was that we got to go horseback riding. Monarch has a wonderful new equine studies teacher. She does equine therapy as well as riding lessons, roping and barrel racing. It was cold so we were happy to stay in the indoor arena. Katie just loved the horses and is ready to enroll at the school. We'll be broke by then.
We had a long trip home...this really is the one major downside of Monarch: it is so inaccessible. But we are grateful to have found the school. It has turned out to be a perfect fit for Josh and his needs.
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Disciples of the Synanon cult brought Synanon's protocols of rendition (what you call "escort") imprisonment without due process, brainwashing and torture to CEDU
ReplyDeletehttp://www.rickross.com/reference/synanon/synanon7.html
Disciples of CEDU brought these protocols to Monarch school (and to Elements forced marches)
Scroll down to Sat 5 2005:
http://jpstillwater.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_archive.html
Survivors report their former torturers moving to Monarch:
http://www.fornits.com/wwf/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=6505
CAFETY notes the one of the founders of Monarch is a convert into the CEDU cult (a “graduate.")
http://cafety.org/films/765-whos-watching-the-kids-montana-pbs
Monarch is operated in the same fashion as CEDU:
ReplyDeletehttp://cafety.youthrights.org/wiki/index.php?title=Jordan_McClure
Ellen, I've been reading your blog for a while. I was interested in it because my son also went to a therapeutic boarding school, although not Monarch. He graduated 4 years ago and is now in college and doing well. He was on the Dean's List this last semester, works part time, and has a girlfriend whom we really like. He has a good relationship with his dad and me. His issues were different from Josh's; his were substance abuse mostly. I'm telling you all this because I don't want you to get discouraged by the negative comments that have been posted lately. I have seen this type of comments on other websites before. I don't know who these people are, but they can be very hateful and cruel in their comments. It's hard enough to send your child away; these attacks make it harder. However, I know that sending my son away saved his life; he agrees. His time away was hard, but he was treated with great love and compassion by the staff at the school he attended. I'm glad that you see progress in Josh; I'm confident that you will see even greater progress in your next visits. You have done the right thing for him. Best wishes to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteShoshanna-
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment...it is indeed discouraging to hear negative and hateful comments (I am most definitely NOT a marketing tactic for Monarch- and the author of the previous comments would know that if he/she had read earliest posts, which were written WAY BEFORE Josh went away to school).
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions (which is why I do not delete any comments), but it seems that those who leave these type of comments have absolutley NO knowledge of Monarch School. If they did, they would not write these things because Monarch is a life-saver for so many kids. I am sure there are some schools and programs out there that are suspect in their methods...I cannot speak about those. I can only speak for the wilderness program and school that I have personal experience with. And about those, I have nothing but goos things to say about how they have helped my child
Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI'm incredibly terrified. For over 6 months, I've been battling with my soon-to-be 16 year old over his WOW playing, and the effect that it's having on his social life and academics.
In December, things came to a head when he started telling me how he didn't want to live, and how he was worthless. Scary scary stuff.
I've been doing everything you mentioned -- parental controls, limiting computer time, etc...but he always seems to get around the blocks. I've caught him setting his alarm at 3:30 in the morning so he can get up and joinn a raid.
He's in therapy, but it doesn't seem to be working. Like Josh, he's appears to be in a good mood when he's figured out how to get a "fix". When he's blocked, he rages around and threatens to not do anything, or worse, just "end it all".
I'm at the end of my rope.
I feel for you. It sounds so familiar! Josh actually talked about "life not worth living" to the high school social worker and that landed him in the hospital for a week ...I thought that might be a wake-up call, but it wasn't. It was not effective therapeutically either.
ReplyDeleteYou may want to talk to an educational consultant about options to consider...your therapist may be able to recommend someone. We found that therapy once a week or so just wasn't enough to address whatever was underlying this obsession with WOW.
Best of luck. I know how you must be feeling.
Just posting to say it is moving and encouraging to hear about your struggles and experiences. We have a daughter just getting readu to leave a wilderness program, and trying to figure out What Next?
ReplyDeleteI hope all keeps going well for you (and us)
Ellen,
ReplyDeletePlease be aware that most of the "negative" comments are posted by the same one or two people, judging by the fact that they have all been posted within minutes from each other, I don't know if that helps, but as I've said earlier in your blog, I feel that you can trust yourself throughout this process and understand the big picture, and the process that you're son is going through right now. I also appreciate how you don't respond to the group of "opposers". Hope you're son continues to get make more progress!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHello
ReplyDeleteI just read your posts from 2009 and couldn't believe how hard it was for you. But now reading your post in 2010 I am so happy to see that you two are such great parents and you managed to sort it out. It's a very difficult issue to crack - lots of people on this site are struggling, maybe you can go there and help them as well http://www.olganon.org/ I'm jjenjjen on there - would be nice if you can share your advice with the parents there.
I wonder what I should do about my brother who is 25 and has never worked or studied past age of 16 because of world of warcraft....
It's really sad and my parents have tried everything but they ever stuck at it like you both did. They give in when they saw him bashing his head on the wall and becoming violent... :(
please email me at the website I sent you - my username is jjenjjen.
Speak soon
x
Hi Ellen, thanks for sharing. I heard about you through the mentioned olganon. I hope to hear more of your experiences but I can understand if you chose not to do it here. Take care and hope you and all your family are doing well. You are brave. Thank-you
ReplyDeleteHey, so i commented on a post you had up about a year ago...but now i feel i should have looked around more because i came across this,lol....BUT like i said in the last post i went there in 02' and LOVED it. I am glad to hear you picked this school for your son. I got a lot out of the school and a lot of great friends. I must say when it came time for me to leave i didn't want to...
ReplyDeleteAlso, i read in the last post that you werent to big on the location. I wasnt either at first,lol. but as a student there i grew to love it, i loved the winters more then summer because it was so beautiful. I have plans on going back and visiting its such a wonderful place to relax and kinda find yourself again.
I hope your son continues to grow and become a wonderful young man.