This visit Josh got to join us for two nights off campus...nice for him to get a break from school, but the main purpose was for him to practice living "in agreement" (following the rules) and for us to practice holding boundaries. This is important because in a couple months he will be able to come home for a visit and we all need to be ready for that.
Since we're not allowed to stay in Sandpoint (so the staff can have some privacy, since that's where most of them live), we ended up staying in Bonner's Ferry. Katie went snowboarding at Schweizer Mt. both days while we hung out with Josh and talked, listened to music, and went out to eat. It may not sound too exciting, but it was a good way for us to be together and in the moment.
Josh had just been promoted to Step 2 and was feeling very good about it. He has made incredible progress and seems so much happier and more comfortable with who he is. He still misses WOW and thinks about it on and off, but he is starting to understand the role it was playing for him and the void it was filling.
I can't believe he'll turn 16 in a few weeks and we won't be with him to celebrate it, but I guess I just have to take the long view. He's where he needs to be right now.
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Ellen, I'm so happy that he's making progress and that you had a good visit. I'm confident that things will get better and better for all of you as a result of the work that he is doing in the school environment and the new relationship you are building with him.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shoshanna. It's nice to get positive feedback, especially when those strange, wacky people write such nasty comments.
ReplyDeleteDear Ellen,
ReplyDeletethank you so much for posting this blog. I am currently in the process of trying to find a boarding school for my son who is finishing up Aspiro wilderness program in Utah (we looked at Elements and almost chose them they are a great group of people). It has been a heart wrenching process and the most difficult decision i have ever made. We are looking at Carlbrook and Short Ridge Academy. I feel so rushed to find the "right" place to send him, wishing all the while that I could just bring him home. It was helpful to read about your experiences. it makes me feel less alone. Mu son's addiction is oxycontin although WOW has been in the mix at times as well. As hard as it is I agree with your husband that better to miss him now than have him miss his life later. thanks again,
Sandy
Sandy
ReplyDeleteHard as it it to believe at this minute, time will go quickly once your son is settled in at school. My son has made so much progress and has really grown up. Yes, there have been and will continue to be bumps in the road, but overall the experience has been a positive one. If you take the long view and if you stay committed to the program, I have no doubt everything will turn out well.
Ellen
I have/am raising three adopted kids who each have had special problems. The first one we sent to a wilderness program and therapeutic school is now a teacher with a graduate degree. The decision was incredibly painful and heartbreaking - but such a wonderful outcome! The second one went to wilderness but not a therapeutic school. She is in college, but has had many struggles and we think that therapeutic school might have made things easier for her. The third is adhd, perhaps aspergers, addicted to computer games. We have no hesitations in sending him to a school that specializes in helping kids like him, we just wish that picking that school was a more clear-cut route. I really want to hear how things go with your son; I am confident that you will always be glad you have taken this step. It won't be a straight line, but life rarely is. You are giving him the gift of a chance at a successful life.
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