Friday, October 9, 2009
First Letter Home
After a two week wait we get our first letters from Josh. I am relieved that he seems pretty positive and upbeat. He misses home and his computer, but otherwise doesn't complain. In fact, he says school is way better than Wilderness. While this all seems good, the school has cautioned that it may not be as positive as it appears on the surface. They actually want the kids to act out and display their maladaptive behaviors so the staff can see first hand what the issues are and go to work addressing them. Apparently, many kids arriving at school start out very compliant, intent on "doing their time" and staying under the radar until they can come home. What generally happens with these kids is that they can't keep up the good behavior and, at some point, have a big meltdown. The staff would prefer that they get this out of their systems sooner rather than later because, until they do, they can't begin their "work".
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Hi Ellen,
ReplyDeleteI have read your blog with interest. This is a serious situation and demonstrates how real and how powerful this addiction can be.
I'm a 35 year old male. I played wow for about 6 months from Oct 08 to Mar 09 and gradually disengaged from almost all parts of my life. I would arrange to work from home and play wow all day instead, sometimes play all day and all evening, through to 4am when I had to get up for work at 7am.
I would make excuses to my friends about why I couldn't see them so I could play wow instead. My wife would sit in the lounge room alone while I sat in the study playing wow all night.
The crunch point came when she had spent several hours cooking an amazing meal for us and when she called me to table I was mid-raid and said I'd come in half an hour. A few mins later I realized what I'd done and how much it had hurt her. We had a long and difficult conversation about my wow addiction. I finally understood what I had put her through and how the game had consumed me. I tried to explain it was an addiction but she struggled to understand, saying it was just a video game. I found the courage to say goodbye to my guild, uninstall the game and cancel the subscription. She suggested that was over the top and I could keep playing it if I just had a few hours a week. I knew I was addicted and it wouldn't be just a few hours, sure maybe at first I would stick to it but soon it would creep back.
The reality is the game is constructed and designed to draw you in and keep you playing. The rewards and levels come quickly at the start and the fast success is satisfying, you get a sense of acheivement and there's plenty of mutual support and encouragement from other players. As you progress the levels get harder and harder and you end up having no option than to team up with other players to get things done.
These are your "wow buddies", your "friends". The in-game chat means you can build relationships with them and end up with a sense of obligation to them, similar to playing on a sports team. You also get fancy items as you level higher which people admire and you can show off how "powerful" you are.
I understand the strength of the addiction, having been there and having been almost on the point of signing back up several times over the last 8 months since I stopped.
However I am stunned at the lengths you have gone to in order to prevent your son from playing. It must be enormously hard for him to be away from his family at a young age and struggling with something he doesn't think is wrong.
I'm an ex-smoker too and it's a similar addiction. You think to yourself, well this is legal, it's not harming anyone else and it's my decision what I do with my time. You may find he always resents you for preventing him from playing. Even though I am mature enough to be objective and understand that I simply can't play onliine games because I have an addictive streak, I still miss it badly.
One of the things that really helped me realise what had happened was talking with a real world friend who also played. He'd picked up the signs in himself a long way before me and manages to only play a few hours a week. Having someone else to talk to who had played the game and understood made a big difference. I recommend giving Josh the opportunity to talk with someone that has broken the addiction.
I hope it works out for you all.
Thanks...that is so helpful In fact, at Monarch there are several kids who have WOW addictions. Those that are further along in the program work with the new kids to help them see what's going on and to give them insight into the addiction and how to cope with it.
ReplyDelete" Apparently, many kids arriving at school start out very compliant, intent on "doing their time" and staying under the radar until they can come home."
ReplyDeleteYes.
That happens because the detainees recognize escape is impossible.
At Monarch, detainees are watched by other detainees and staff, who will restrain them if they try. Then, they will be punished (tortured) and their duration of detention extended.
So, they submit to their persecutor, the Monarch cult, which expects them to vocalize a dogma-- they were not good enough in the past, and they are better because of Monarch, and submit to degrading orders.
""While this all seems good, the school has cautioned that it may not be as positive as it appears on the surface.""
Vocalizations of the dogma and submission to orders are not enough in the Synanon - CEDU - Monarch totalist thought reform prisons.
The Monarch cult does not want SURFACE submission. Detainees are expected to TRULY aNd DEEPLY believe that they needed or benefit from suffering (imprisonment, forced marches, humiliation)because of how bad or mentally ill they were
The Monarch thought reform prison doesn’t want surface submission, its after the soul and brain. Like Big Brother, Monarch doesn’t just demands compliance, it demands love.
http://www.ex-cult.org/General/lifton-criteria
Typically a thought reform prison suggests a detainee "needs" imprisonment as long as its operators feel his or her detainment financiers will foot the bill without getting too antsy