The Intervention Letter

The first communication we are to have with Josh at Elements is an intervention letter, in which we (each parent writes a separate letter) explain to Josh: why we have enrolled him at the program, how his behavior has affected both us and him, what goals we have for him at the program and what we would like him to accomplish. We are also reminded to highlight his strengths and positives, acknowledge the difficulty and challenges he will face and express our confidence in his ability to adapt and make the most of the experience.

This is a really difficult letter to write. Bill and I each spend several hours trying to articulate our feelings about all of this in a balanced way that also conveys the emotional toll that Josh's behavior has had on the whole family. The letter is meant not only to tell Josh how we feel but also to give the staff enough background and specific examples to tailor the therapy for him. Josh will keep and re-read this letter many times as he goes through the program, so we feel tremendous pressure to "get it right". I had hoped that writing it would be cathartic for me, but instead it has dredged up all the frustrations, worry and angst of the past several months and I feel depressed. I wonder how we could have messed up so badly as parents.