I had wanted to visit Carlbrook School on the same trip as my visit to Monarch, but I was told I couldn't come until I had sent in the (25 page!) application and had it approved...seemed a little inflexible, but I duly followed their instructions and made plans to visit the following week. I flew into Raleigh and had dinner with some friends I hadn't seen in 4 years; then got up bright and early and headed north to Virginia. I had been told not to be late as the admissions people had other commitments that day so, when I ran into heavy traffic on I-40, I started to stress out. I had been told that it was a two hour drive from Raleigh and it ended up taking almost two and a half hours, so I was prepared to be chastised for my tardiness. Luckily they were very understanding.
The campus is beautiful...very much a traditional prep school even though it is only seven years old. The founders had bought the main house and 100 acres of an old tobacco plantation and had then added new buildings in the same style. Unlike Monarch this school has a very formal feel.
I meet with the admissions director, the academic dean and the clinical director, all of whom have impressive credentials; then get a tour of the campus with the admissions director. It turns out that the dorms and classrooms are housed in semi-permanent trailers, as the school only has the budget to build one building per year. They are tucked back in the trees so they don't ruin the view of the main campus. The dorms are locked during the day so kids can't sneak back in for a nap. I am shown the "suspension room" where students are sent for a time-out for
misbehavior or breaking rules. The point is for them to do some serious introspection and to re-think their behavior. I ask if they have to spend a whole day there and am told that sometimes kids will be there for as long as six weeks, eating all their meals there, etc. There may be multiple kids in there at a time but they are not allowed to talk to each other. Whether or not they are allowed to study depends on their infraction.At lunch I get to sit with some of the students: 4 boys who have been at school for varying lengths of time for various reasons. Like the kids at Monarch they are both polite and friendly and very open with me about why they are here and what they have learned about themselves. They are incredibly self-aware, much more so than most of the adults I know. As we're chatting away, one of the boys mentions that, although he had been at school for several months, he had just returned from 4 weeks in "the woods" (wilderness program), where he had been sent for a "tune-up" after trying to leave campus. I make a mental note to ask the staff more about that.
After lunch I meet with the executive director, who is also one of the founders. He is an alum of a therapeutic boarding school in California where he was sent as a very troubled teenager. You would never know that by talking to him. He now has two master's degrees and is both charming and accomplished. He explains the history of the school and the philosophy. He started the school because he didn't feel that other therapeutic boarding schools were good enough academically. This school places strong emphasis on the academics and has very high standards for achievement. Many of the students go on to attend very prestigious colleges after Carlbrook.
When I ask him about consequences for misbehavior, he tells me that there are certain offenses for which kids will be sent back to wilderness for 4 weeks and then have their graduation date postponed by six months. Those offenses are: leaving campus without authorization (even if they storm out of a therapy session and walk off the grounds for 5 minutes and then come back), engaging in a sexual act or refusing to go to school. The one offense that will get a student expelled is an act of violence toward another person.This is explained to the students and all are clear on the rules and the consequences for breaking them.
I leave the school later than I had planned and barely make it back to the airport to make my flight.
Posts
After reading this nightmare of a blog, I have concluded that you are probably the laziest parent I have ever heard of. Let's set aside for the moment that the program you sent your son to abuses children. (I know the staff, and I also know the program.) The idea that you would outsource your parenting because your kid is failing classes as a result of playing too many video games is downright shameful. What the hell is wrong with you that you don't know how to discipline your kid and take responsibility?
ReplyDeleteWhen my son was sacrificing his studies too much for a video game, (spore was his "addiction") I did something really hard to figure out. I uninstalled it, took the hard copy of the damn game away and threw it in the garbage. No more spore. He was pissed as hell at me, but he got over it.
What your son is going through right now at this sorry excuse for a school is going to be much harder to get over, no matter how happy and brainwashed he will seem while he's there and when he "graduates". (That will wear off.)
Word of advice: Be sure to set up long term care for yourself when you get old. I doubt your son is going to help.
It isn't 'a mom' its an employee of carlbrook or someone who refers TO carlbrook trying to get more money.
ReplyDeleteIf your kid is addicted to WoW its because he doesn't have social skills. Take him out in public and do something fun, retards.
by the way, good for you, mom. your doing the right thing, you should be proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHi Ellen!
ReplyDeleteI just read some of your posts/blogs, and wanted to let you know that I have actually just graduated from the CarlBrook program, and although I know that you eventually ended up sending your son to the other place, I want to let you know that hearing from my parents, I know its really hard to have to trust you own child to someone else, and the guilt that you were left with. Although, computer gaming was not really my reason why I was sent away, I honestly regained my life back, and regained my relationship with my parents. The reason your site is flooded with all these kids (or possibly one outraged one) is because they have found it, and have links from their sites. Im sorry you have to deal with them, but I want to assure you that in the long run, it is essentially the bigger picture that matters, and no one can stop you from loving your son. I know for a fact, that all of this will be a long journey, but from my experience, it is well worth it.
As for these immature kids, you have no right to disrespect what I have been through for the past few years of my life. If only you people were able to understand any of these kids stories, and what all of us were able to overcome. I have been through things that you may never even expierience in your worst nightmares, from sleeping in meth labs to waking up in a park, confused why I was there, I have regained a piece of myself that truly protects ME. In other words, grow up and stop acting like you know what you're talking about
LOL, ^^cultist
ReplyDeleteTo interested readers:
Please note the commenters who are pro - Carlbrook School Cult and for - profit rendition, and, not to mention, have arrived to share about their dreadful internet video game “addiction” only appeared after Sept 14, 2009.
Why is that date relevant? Well, that on that date this blog’s hyperlink was posted on a cultic gulag survivor website and a civil rights website.
http://www.fornits.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=28641&start=0
http://forums.youthrights.org/showthread.php?19533-Behavior-Modification-for-World-Of-Warcraft
IMO, the CEDU – Synanon cult family have arrived to protect themselves.
Take the pro Carlbook, rendition, and the internet addicts comments and even this “mother’s” existence with a healthy heaping of salt
Carlbrrok is the Synanon cult.
ReplyDeleteHow is Carlbrook the Synanon cult,exactly, (you may inquire)?
Well, disciples from the Synanon cult founded CEDU, bringing the Synanon modality of abduction, imprisonment and brainwashing to the CEDU "schools."
Disciples from CEDU, in turn, brought its even MORE abusive, degrading, and mentally damaging "refined" methods of brainwashing to Carlbrook.
Check out the progression from Synanon to CEDU to Carlbrook:
http://motherjones.com/politics/2007/08/cult-spawned-tough-love-teen-industry
http://www.heal-online.org/carlbrook.htm
More about what happens at the CEDU Synanon Carlbrook cult:
ReplyDeletehttp://wiki.fornits.com/index.php?title=Carlbrook
Lon,
ReplyDeleteYou are a nut.
"That is all"
you know what?
ReplyDeletei am a nineteen year old...i WENT to carlbrook...i attended for two years before graduating. before i went there i had my own little addictions as well. my mom went through hell for a few years before deciding it was time for me to go somewhere where i could get more help. she's a single mom with multiple kids who suffered from addiction and emotional distress.....so she sent me to carlbrook and it was the hardest decision of her life.
and i went. and i was NEVER abused, pushed around or "forced" to do anything.
and i graduated over a year ago and have been clean, sober, and a better person altogether since.
it pains me to see that you "adults" who dont know anything about this program are spewing out opinions about it in an online forum.
this woman, this mother, was struggling at the thought of losing her son to some stupid game, and all you can do to support her is call this place that saved MY family and MY life a "cult"
have some respect. and grow up a little.
Oh...so now I'm a cultist? I'm pretty sure I'm doing what I want, and would guess that I'm better off than you, because I don't waste my time reading little threads and trying to post them all over the internet about a school, in which you haven't even been to. You're a pretty cool dude, Lon, minus the fact that you're a panzy. But whatever, the funny thing is how you guys are such a minority, and spend all this time advocating for "your cause", but in the grand scheme of thing, HUNDREDS of people have been to Carlbrook, and don't waste their time on this bull shit.
ReplyDeleteHello everyone. I'm a parent of a child who has drug and alcohol addictions. We sent him to a wilderness program and he seemed to do well. Carlbrook has been highly recommended to us as his next placement. I wish the comments on this blog were less extreme. After reading them, I can't tell whether those who critize Carlbrook have any credibility. I hope that students who have been to Carlbrook will use this blog to post serious accounts of their experiences there. It would really help out. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteTo the mother who is considering sending her child to Carlbrook,
ReplyDeleteI also went to Carlbrook and graduated within the last year. It was one of the hardest things for me and my family to go through, but I graduated with the most respect, love, and appreciation for the place. I made some of the best and truest friends that I have ever had, and learned so much about who I wanted to be. I don't think that any student who went there would say that the process was easy, because it wasn't. It was hard work. But it gave me my family for the first time in years. Of course I had a hard time with the idea of going to Carlbrook and had a hard time accepting it at first, but it became so comfortable that I almost didn't want to leave. No, I don't think that this is because it was a cult or brainwashing me. I think that it was the first place I ever felt comfortable in my own skin, and was scared to leave such a loving home where I had found my own niche. After graduation I have been able to lead the life that I want to live. I go to college, make good grades, am social and am a normal college teenager. Except maybe a little more self-aware than some of my peers.
Like I said, the place is hard work. It is hard because you look at aspects of your self and your life that may he hard. But it was so worth it for me. I know some of my graduating class has struggled, but the journey is different for everyone. I reccomend Carlbrook with my whole heart.
to: Anyone railing on Carlbrook or on a mom who had the courage and probably worked hard to afford it
ReplyDeleteYou are nuts. This mom is great. Carlbrook is great. You are nuts. "That is all"
CB is great. The kids are smart and really learn to be good people at BD. The faculty and facility are excellent.
ReplyDeletethe nutcases on here who don't like it or don't know but have big points of view are coo-koo as a clock!
I agree, the people who are criticizing CB really aren't reputable based on one fact...they haven't gone there. I've noticed that so far, every student has described the CarlBrook experience as "Hard", but worth it in the end, I myself join this group of students. The overall environment is a great place to mature, and I could not have the maturity and the relationship I have with people now, had I not been to Carlbrook, the school did not "change" or "fix" me, instead, it allowed me to become the person I wanted to be. Also being someone who had gone to another therapeutic school, it also allowed me to appreciate the school, there are a large amount of schools in which the idea is to keep the student as long as possible in an attempt to increase profits. CarlBrook has been the opposite, and shows that it is probably one of the most open and honest schools out there.
ReplyDeleteI too went to Carlbrook, actually I am currently driving home, having graduated literally about 6 hours ago. I feel confident that everything has truly been said as to the actual merit of the school... It is a truly miraculous place and saved me from failing out of high school (I enrolled with a 1.34 GPA and am graduated with a 2.67). While it is a hard track for anyone to follow, I assure you that it is well worth it. For all of you responding with bullshit out of left field, please examine something with at least a margin of truth prior to trying maliciously to shape someone's opinions against it.
ReplyDelete-to all of you fellow alumni, keep it strong
Hi,
ReplyDeletemy daughter attended Carlbrook, graduated 3 years ago and is thriving now at college, on the Dean's list and sober.
If anyone is seriously considering placing their child at this school, just ask the admissions office for parents and alums to talk to.
It's that simple. Yes, some parents withdraw their kids and some kids leave against their parents' wishes- that's going to happen. We have nothing but praise for the kids who take themselves seriously and graduate from Carlbrook.
It IS hard work, maturing in our culture: learning to be genuine, honest, loving and focused on one's inner growth when one's peers and the culture are finding ways to escape from the stresses of teen-life via drugs, alcohol, computer games, sex and risk-taking behaviors.
I have to hand it to Carlbrook, they know how to run a great school. -Parent in the Know.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteMy son just graduated about a week ago and whether Carlbrook will make a permanent change in his life or not is still to be know. I do know that he is very respectful, is now going to college and has a future. Before Carlbrook (and the wilderness) he was known as a pothead, had big time legal problems and was going nowhere. My son and I learned a lot at Carlbrook and the staff and teachers could not have been more professional. The majority of the kids that stay till graduation will state; "Carlbrook saved my life". I have heard that comment over and over again. With my son just a week after graduation I can't be sure that he will not return to his prior life but I do know that Carlbrook has given him a foundation to build his life upon if he choices to do so. A Dad.
i like that they have a wide ground, doesn't seem like a school, it looks more a like a vacation house. i bet it is also quiet, maybe too quiet that can make the students sleepy. LOL! anyways, this is my first time to see Carlbrook and about monarch i have heard terrible feedbacks from parents, just do a search and you'll see what im talking about.
ReplyDeleteMy child completed a full program at CB. I am just writing because I want to make it clear that CB is not just for children who suffered from drug and alcohol problems. Like many CB students, my child has never used drugs, but, as a result of plummeting self-esteem, was involved with other kids who were seriously detrimental to his health, life and family life. Thank God for CB and the people there who have devoted their lives to teens who need a little extra for a while. The teens there get so very much support. If you don't believe me, go for a visit. The students will tell you very openly and honestly (almost shockingly honestly) why they are there and that the level of support is what they like best about CB. They also told me, when I first visited that the thing they liked the least about CB was being away from family. They missed their family. Believe me, most of them were at odds with their families when they left home, so it was so refreshing to hear that they had all mended (or were working on mending) the relationships with their families. The students learn life skills that they will never be able to deny. They may make some bad choices when they leave, but they have the tools on which to fall back when they are ready to implement them.
ReplyDeleteTheir is no abuse at CB that I am aware. They have a 3 or more people in a room at all times rule and the staff is very serious about this policy. In other words, your child will never be in the room with a staff member by himself. They do have "appointments" (private sessions) but they take place in open areas, for instance in a semi-private corner of the lunchroom. The kids are accustomed to this and respect the other children's privacy when they are meeting with another staff member or student.
(Continued) They teach values that you taught at home, but somehow have disintegrated in the children's minds, such as integrity. The traditions of the school help reignite confidence and social skills, such as talking easily with adults, shaking hands, making eye contact and performing (they all are encouraged to explore untapped talents) in front of peers and adults. They also help the children see that mistakes are made and it is possible to make amends for those mistakes. Mistakes are not the end of their world.
ReplyDeleteEven children who did not do drugs must take periodic drug tests. The school has a reputation for being the place to send your child if you don't want drugs to be on campus. The campus is absolutely 100 percent drug free. The students and graduates will confirm this. The school has a number of systems to insure this atmosphere, which includes packages being searched before being delivered to the children.
No school is perfect, but miracles are happening there. If you really want to see for yourself, ask to schedule a visit. You will quickly see for yourself that there are none of the crazy goings-on written in some of these posts.
(Continued -- part three)
ReplyDeleteAs to the parent who writes above that CB parents are the
"laziest parents they have ever heard"
or worse
"If your kid is addicted to WoW its because he doesn't have social skills. Take him out in public and do something fun, r-*#$@*-s",
... to that parent I say, "Walk a mile in our shoes and then tell us all about it." I can't speak for all the other CB parents, but believe me, you have no idea of what you speak. Many of these children had excellent social skills. Many of these children suffer from the very legitimate disease of depression. Many of them suffered because of situations at home that were beyond the control of the family. One child lost both his parents in the same year to cancer. Another child lost a sibling. Many suffer from issues relating to divorce or adoption or illnesses in the family or other family issues. The insensitive comments that a few people have made demonstrate a lack of awareness of the complex world that we live in today. Some children aren't playing video games because of boredom. They are using them to self-medicate their pain. Please consider your words before posting. Using the "R" word simply demonstrates a level of ignorance and insensitivity to the path others walk and perhaps also demonstrates a "lower IQ" -- which by the way, CB students don't have, as the only entrance exam is an IQ test. CB students are ALL highly intelligent individuals... who suffered somehow and their parents would literally do anything to help them recover.
if you want the best for your children the only way you can really help them is by doing it yourself, teach your children morals and accept that if they have faults its most likely your fault, all children want from their parents is love, if you cant give it to them and you can accept that then send them away but never take credit for saving your childs life when you really did not if you want to spend the money sure go for it and your id will probably be okay but they will no longer be your kid they will be the result of a systematic upbringing, the truth of the matter is that if you send your children away you are a failed parent realize it accept it and apologize to your children for not being able to give them the love they needed. i am 15 have been kicked out of 3 top boarding schools and what i have to say should be taken very seriously
ReplyDeleteThere is a big difference in sending a child away to boarding school just because ... and sending your child away to a therapeutic boarding school to save them from themselves. I made the agonizing and extremely difficult decision to send my son to the wilderness and then to CB after 3 years of increasingly bad choices and decisions on his part and trying every kind of help locally that we could find. It was that or kick him out of the house to the streets, where he surely would have spiraled farther down the awful path he was on - but I could not find it in my heart to give up on him and knew that between the drugs and alcohol - we were not dealing with our son or even a rational human being at the time. It was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, but he is 2 years out of CB, in college and although he has had some normal ups and downs, we can talk and he has a set of skills to cope with the pressures and challenges of being 20 and dealing with responsibilities and accountabilities that he never would have had otherwise. He is happy and he has nothing but great respect and love for the faculty and staff at CB and continues those relationships along with the great friends he made while there. I would do it again today and have no regrets!
ReplyDeleteI definitely have utmost respect for parents who I'm sure are deeply saddened at putting their children into these therapeutic boarding schools. Sometimes, it's difficult to help your teenager despite your efforts to know and reach out to them. This is because these kids oftentimes consider themselves misunderstood. But it is also important to consider a boarding school that can cater to your child's needs, and being a parent shouldn't stop there. It is still important that you be involved with your child's development and get to know his peers. That will show them that you truly care.
ReplyDeleteI agree, a parent shouldn't just put their troubled kids on any residential treatment center, they should check out a school that can definitely help their child out. In that way, money won't be wasted on such useless facilities.
ReplyDeleteI went to a school that was closed by the state of California several years ago. Many of the staff are now at Carlbrook. Please do not send your children here.
ReplyDeleteThe program at Carlbrook appears to be a descendant of the Synannon Cult. A basic Google search of Synannon, CEDU and Cascade can give you a variety of reasons not to send your children here. There are other alternatives out there. Ask the administration of any therapeutic boarding school about their connection to Synannon, listen carefully,do some research and if they are even slightly related to Synannon, CEDU or Cascade RUN don't WALK away from these people as fast as you can...
Many years after my boarding school experience I am still afraid of them.
I think this entire thread is pretty funny. I graduated from Carlbrook myself about a year ago, and it was not cult. True it was isolated and pretty sheltering, Im not saying I agree with all that. I was very unhappy there much of the time, but I definitely was not brainwashed. It helped me get back on track with school and get into a good college, which never would have happened pre-carlbrook, so in that sense I am thankful. It wasn't a fun place and I wouldn't ever want to send my kids there, but honestly its not a cult and they dont abuse kids there. thats ridiculous
ReplyDeleteI am a parent who recently visited Carlbrook School and I was appalled. I was even more appalled that it was touted as one of the best in the country by a highly paid educational consultant. I would never send my ADHD teen to a place that puts them in a room from 7:30 and till 10 pm at night (this fact was proudly detailed to me by three of the staff members) where they have to sit face forward and can only speak to ask four questions. 15 hours of sitting for days on end for an active teenager???????Survivors of this school have talked about this room and how some of them had to go there for up to 6 months. It used to be called the suspension room, but now the school calls it the "reflection room." This is not legitimate therapy. And schools like these have actually been denounced by the Government Accountability Office after extensive auditing, interviewing of hundreds of families and "students." I also would not send my child anywhere where I cannot speak to them privately and where they are completely isolated from their families. We as a society need to wake up. We can't just stroke a check and expect complete strangers to "fix" our kids. There are treatment alternatives that do not completely isolate them from their families and where they can be closer to home and that have highly trained, licensed professionals who offer full disclosure for the treatment provided and take accountability for their actions. Please, do your research and use common sense logic. You can start here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.astartforteens.org/deceptive-marketing
If you are thinking of sending your student to Carlbrook, think again. There have been changes we have seen on campus many good advisors have left because of them. Ask a former advisor if you want the truth. Ask the students what goes on in the workshops - could be abuse. Many students have seen Grant price drunk on campus and many see Justin Merritt roaming the halls at night and find him sleeping on a couch. The students before us had groups sessions with Jeff Georgi but we do not get that this time for some reason nothing has been told us. The students before us had Aaron white teach them brain 101, kind of cool guy and again we have not had that or been told of that. other students talked highly of these groups but we have not gotten these so far this year and it seems we will not I guess. some of us students see changes we are concerned about but can not say anything for fear of punishment. i will be graduating soon so I am glad to leave this place, but feel sad for those who are behind me still there. no therapy here if you have issues.
DeleteGrant price a drunk? I believe that..... Lol. Justin was creepy at the cascade school... Roaming halls seems appropriate behavior
ReplyDeletePART 1 OF 2 PARTS:
ReplyDeleteI'm the father of a Carlbrook student (I’ll call him John – not his real name) who's been there about 7 months and has about 8 months to go. My wife and I just dropped off John after our third visit. I’ll offer my impressions, for what they may be worth, in no particular order.
John went to Carlbrook after 2 months in the “woods” – the route to Carlbrook taken by most kids (not all). John had stopped going to school, was doing a lot of drugs, and, frankly, seemed to us to be selling drugs and planning bigger deals that probably would have landed him in jail before much longer. John was indisputably not happy with himself or his life.
I promised “no particular order,” and so will interject this here: Every step of the way, count on your child telling you this: “What I’ve gone through so far has been incredibly valuable, and I’ll use what I’ve learned all my life, but I’m ready to come home now.” Whether they’re ready or not ready when those (inevitable) words are spoken – who knows? Undoubtedly it varies from kid to kid. But in general I suspect the answer is “They’re not ready if you have any doubts at all.”
For John, the woods program was helpful ¬ he would be the first to agree (though he certainly didn’t agree at the time) – but it wasn’t enough. I suspect the numbers depend somewhat on a child’s particular problems, but the relapse rate is very high for kids who just return from a woods program to their regular lives. When we broached the subject of just bringing John home, I would describe the reaction of John’s woods-program counselors as near-panic, and they stood to gain nothing from our next-step decision. (To my knowledge, no referral fees are paid in this business, and I’d certainly steer clear of a place if you learn of the contrary about it).
For us, getting John through high school was a priority, and we were (and still are) pretty sure he’d never have finished high school if we’d just brought him home and put him back in school. College is important for our family, and no high school diploma means no college.
Nor were we inclined to send John to an RTC (residential treatment center), which focus less on school and more on therapy (though nearly all RTCs claim to have a strong educational component). Our impression of Carlbrook is that it’s exactly what it claims to be on that score: a school that does therapy, not a therapy center that does school. So keep in mind that distinction, simplistic though it may be.
END OF PART 1 OF 2 PARTS.
PART 2 OF 2 PARTS:
ReplyDeleteIn any case, John seems to have progressed a very great deal at Carlbrook, even more so than we’d expected, though there were some very big bumps in the road (as we were warned) and probably there will be more. If John left Carlbrook right now and remained as he seems to be, arguably he’s ready to leave. But on our last visit, though it was extremely pleasant until the end, one bad incident near the end let me see that vestiges of the old John are still there. No space here for details, but while what happened certainly didn’t cast doubt on the realness of John’s progress, it cast considerable doubt on the completeness of it, and on whether he’s safe from relapse once the structure of Carlbrook is removed. I’d say he has some work left to do.
Carlbrook has some crazy rules, as the detractors on this website point out (and there are dozens for every one they mention). Frankly, they may be excessive in some respects, and even parents find some of them annoying. But they do provide structure, and kids benefit from structure at Carlbrook. And most rules have a very good reason underpinning them.
Recently Carlbrook experienced a “drug incident,” but most parents feel the school handled it as well as it could be handled. A former Carlbrook student promised some friends before he left that he’d hide some drugs in the nearby forest for them. He did, they found them, etc. Six kids were kicked out, 4 of them likely to return after a “woods” program, the other two not. It struck me that Carlbrook handled it well. It’s probably impossible to prevent such a thing (though Carlbrook tries as hard as it seems possible to try), and the school reacted properly once it found out. Stuff happens, and you deal with it.
There has been some staff turnover lately, which some parents find unsettling. I don’t. The school lost 4 of 12 therapists in the past year. That happens, and each departure was for different reasons. No question that’s disruptive, but Carlbrook appears to have reacted properly, both in the short run (shifting kids to other therapists) and the long run (hiring new therapists). My impression is that the staff is competent, dedicated and sincere. I will make these observations, which some might find “negative” and which may or may not be valid: (1) a great deal of blame is assigned to the parents, which we may deserve or may not deserve (undoubtedly it varies from family to family); and (2) Carlbrook seems to feel that the kids who come there – and kids in general – could have used a heck of a lot more old-fashioned discipline at home and school: clear rules, uniformly enforced. I’ve heard no stories – as in zero – of any abuse at Carlbrook, though they’re certainly a lot stricter about enforcing the rules than most parents. No question about that. Whether that’s good or bad is up to each of us to judge.
Bottom line, though: We’re happy with how John is doing at Carlbrook, and think he’ll end up a much better person for his time there. We miss him, especially with Christmas coming up (he can’t visit home until March), but we feel we made the right decision. I told John he’d probably pass me up in “having life figured out,” and I’d say that’s happening faster than I anticipated. Whether it sticks with him in the long run – who knows? But if it does, it will have been more than worthwhile for him, something that many more kids (and adults) probably would benefit from.
By the way, while a few Carlbrook kids seem deeply troubled, the vast majority of them come across as quite impressive, and surprisingly candid about both their pasts and their continuing doubts and fears. Maybe they’ve all just “drunk the Koolaid,” but I think you’ll conclude it’s more than that.
END OF PART 2 OF 2 PARTS.
Another commenter wrote:
ReplyDelete"The campus is absolutely 100 percent drug free. The students and graduates will confirm this."
I agree with nearly everything else this commenter wrote, and I agree in "spirit" with this comment too. But it's not 100% correct. In October or November of 2014, drugs did make their way onto campus: a former student (who, I understand, left involuntarily part-way through the program) told some friends before he left that he'd hide some drugs for them in a nearby forest. He did, they found them, etc. Six kids were kicked out, two forever, four who reportedly will return after a "woods" program.
But what struck me about this "drug incident" was NOT that Carlbrook had dropped the ball, but how well it had handled it. Let's face it: there's no way any institution can be 100% sure it's preventing drugs from getting onto campus. As any CB parent (or student) can tell you, CB does everything that can be done to keep the campus drug-free. I've been amazed several times at the steps they take -- things I'd never even think of. All any parent can expect is that a school will do what CB does. It's not 100% foolproof, but it's as close as you can hope for.
An "update" as of late 2014:
ReplyDelete1. The photos of Carlbrook in this blog piece are a bit outdated. They now have a boy's dorm and a girl's dorm that are top-notch. The classrooms are still in "modules," which I don't like, but most of the campus now consists of state-of-the-art new buildings. Whatever else its flaws may be, Carlbrook is most assuredly not a place where kids are going to want for creature comforts.
2. Carlbrook sometimes sends kids away to unaffiliated "woods" programs, as others have mentioned. In the last year or so, though, they've added an "in-house" woods program, for kids (including my son) who've done something that doesn't really call for being sent to a third-party woods program but nevertheless does call for some more serious punishment than just detention. The school was concerned that it lacked something "in between," and an on-site "woods" program fits the bill. It's pretty informal, and usually nobody's there at all, but my son was there for a couple of days. He actually liked it (he says he appreciated the solitude), and asked to go back a few weeks later (which undoubtedly caused some consternation to the CB staff, who must have questioned whether it really amounted to "punishment").
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ReplyDeleteAnother commenter wrote:
ReplyDelete"I went to a school that was closed by the state of California several years ago. Many of the staff are now at Carlbrook. Please do not send your children here."
Any particular reason you don't mention the name of this school? Or why you don't mention any particular Carlbrook staff person who used to work there? After all, if there are "many," surely you can remember the name of at least one of them.
I suspect you just made all this up. I know the staff at Carlbrook pretty well, since my son's been there quite a while. They all strike me as decent and competent people -- not a "cult" type among them. I have no doubt there are bad institutions such as you describe, but I have no reason to think Carlbrook is among them. I have complaints, but they're pretty minor. It's been great for my son, an assessment with which he'd agree (though he, like every other student there I've met, would love to come home tomorrow if he could -- that would be true no matter where he was).
I'm a Carlbrook parent, and have written other comments. For parents considering Carlbrook, I recommend this comment, from another Carlbrook parent:
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, August 24, 2010 at 8:42 PM
It's not all rosy, as no thoughtful comment should be. But it gives a very good "feel" for Carlbrook, at least from a parent's point of view. I suspect all parents are told what my wife and I are told by our son: "They make it sound great for the parents, but it's not." Maybe the do; maybe they don't. Who knows? What I do know, though, is that our son – complain though he does -- has already made a remarkable transformation. No guarantee it will last, of course, nor any guarantee that the same thing would happen to other parents' child. But that's been our experience so far. Our son is halfway through a 15-month program at Carlbrook.
I'm a Carlbrook parent (our son is half-way through the program). I can't claim to know much about Synanon, beyond what I learned by watching a documentary about it a year or so ago. I do recall that I would agree entirely with those who criticize it. I can't even imagine sending my child to a Synanon facility, though the documentary made the kids all appear to be contented "true believers."
ReplyDeleteThe question, though, is whether Carlbrook is such a place. Not that I've noticed, I can assure you. I've visited Carlbrook five times now -- when my wife and I visited to check it out, when we dropped off our son, and three times when we attended off-site parent conferences and then visited with our son (whom we last saw just a few days ago, during a three-day off-campus visit).
We've gotten to know other parents in our son's "group" -- i.e. parents of kids who started at CB at about the same time. All educated to highly educated, all very much concerned about the well-being of their child, all very concerned that Carlbrook may not be what it claims to be. All that said, I've never heard a word from any parent, nor suspected myself, that Carlbrook has any affiliation with Synanon or any other "cult." I've read the same horror stories; I've seen the same horrible documentaries; I'm well aware of the "abuse" problem (at least through those sources). So, I'm sure, are other Carlbrook parents. Yet none of us has ever mentioned any suspicion of abuse at Carlbrook. Kids and parents gripe, to be sure, but the gripes are relatively minor. One doesn't know, of course, what parents feel whose kids have left Carlbrook -- maybe their impressions are much less favorable. But the parents we know whose kids have left don't fault Carlbrook: sometimes it just doesn't work out; the child needs something different. While some kids insist that Carlbrook will try to persuade parents to keep their child at Carlbrook to increase revenues, that is not my impression. CB has kicked out some kids for inappropriate behavior even though doing so cost CB money. (Indeed, my son has not always been the model CB student, and I've warned him to keep his nose clean lest he be kicked out.)
In short, while CB deserves some criticism, that deserved criticism is pretty mild -- nothing at all like some of the negative comments I've read here.
Here is the entire comment made by a commenter named "Residential Treatment:"
ReplyDelete"I agree, a parent shouldn't just put their troubled kids on any residential treatment center, they should check out a school that can definitely help their child out. In that way, money won't be wasted on such useless facilities."
You ask the question that should be asked: Is a facility "useless" or not? I think most parents in this situation already get that. You imply, but don't actually say, that Carlbrook falls in the "useless" category. But parents who've sent their kid to Carlbrook largely disagree with that. They don't think the CB staff are "cultists" -- Synanon-affiliated or otherwise -- and they think Carlbrook is doing a pretty good job. I'm sure not all parents agree, but many among even those parents would probably admit that the result might not have been much different elsewhere. Some kids need more than Carlbrook can offer. My impression is that there's a line -- bright or fine -- between therapeutic boarding schools and residential treatment centers, and that parents (with the help of a good educational consultant) need to figure out which category best suits their child. All therapeutic boarding schools have therapy (hence "therapeutic" in their category name), and all RTCs have school (or at least claim to), but I think they serve distinct groups. Sometimes more therapy and less school is appropriate (RTC); sometimes it's the other way around (therapeutic boarding schools). I suspect RTCs leave a bigger "stigma" for the kid, and finishing high school will almost certainly be more difficult -- probably delayed at best -- at an RTC. This "stigma" consideration shouldn't dictate a decision to do what's best for one's child, certainly, but it shouldn't be ignored entirely if parents are "on the fence" between an RTC and a therapeutic boarding school.
Needless to say, parents should watch out for abusive institutions in either category, and should frankly recognize that such institutions will do their best to hide their true abusive nature. Parents also should watch out for institutions that pay for referrals. I've not heard of that happening, and our educational consultant was a bit upset when I even raised the question (diplomatic though I tried to be). I get the impression this just isn't done, and I'd certainly stay far away from any instititution that engages in that practice. That said, I don't find it surprising that educational consultants only know about a few RTCs and a few therapeutic boarding schools. I'd estimate our EC is familiar with about a dozen of each. If you expect your EC to know ALL of the possibilities, be prepared for your EC to know very little about most of them. My impression is that our EC checks out quite a number of both types of facilities (I think they encourage ECs to visit, and to communicate regularly by email, to encourage referrals, even though they don't pay for them), and that ECs then settle on a few that they find impressive. That may make it difficult for new facilities to "break in," and may allow some old facilities to "coast" when they're no longer very good, but that's a risk that exists in nearly every field.
Bottom line: If I were a parent faced with this very tough decision (and we were there not long ago), I'd find a good EC, pepper him/her with many questions, do a lot of independent research, and then decide. In the end, a set of parents can only comment knowledgeably about the choices they've made, not about the choices they didn't make. For better or for worse, my wife and I settled on Carlbrook. No regrets. Minor complaints, but very minor. Our son has progressed very impressively. He'd like to come home, but I think that would be true no matter where he was.
It is all about choice and some make it and some just have the hardest time. Carlbrook is not a guarantee to success and neither is any school for a troubled teen. Aren't they all troubled to some degree? Hindsight is perfection and that does not exist. I know there are successes at the school and some that are not. Is it the school's fault? The world is full of blamers or are there just some situations or individuals that are really deeply troubled and cannot pull themselves up? I think so but it does not change reality or the present.
ReplyDeleteCarlbrook was a awful school and is now gone.You should never hand your children over to a private organization for any reason ever. No matter how hard it is to be a parent or what issues your child may have, they will not be solved by giving them away. It's wrong, you don't have to look very hard to see how wrong it is. I'm glad to hear some people had a okay experience and are doing well but many didn't and it's unacceptable. I'm very glad Carlbrook is shut down. It never should have existed.
ReplyDeleteCarlbrook closed this month. Many years of investigation into that place uncovered what basically resembled abuse. A campaign targeted them and hurt them using marketing skills. A closure was only a question of time.
ReplyDeleteI went to Carlbrook it was a good school. It’s like anything else in life you got out of it what you out in. Some of the stuff they had us do in group and stuff was a little out there. Where they really to seem to have let some of the kids down was addressing drug and alcohol issues. Most of the people I know that have died from there, the deaths were drug related. I do not think the parents for the most part wanted to hear that their kids were miserable drug addicts. That’s a hard pill to swallow. In the end it was a strict drug free school with some non traditional punishment options. The older I get I beleive all of us students and really everyone are going to do whatever they are predisposed to do. Unsuccessful people might look back and try to pin it on Carlbrook but I think they gave us a great education. Most of the reading I have done in my life was done while at Carlbrook with out the distractions of drugs, alcohol and even television. So for whatever it’s worth if you are a parent of a Carlrbook student who has been unsuccessful or not lived up to your expectations, I believe you can sleep easy and not feel you did anything wrong to your child by sending them there.
ReplyDelete